I keep seeing “encryption” and “WhatsApp” used in the same today. You do realise it’s *not* secure, right? And it’s owned by Facebook FFS, do you’re giving Facebook all your messages. If you want secure, encrypted communications use Telegram. Even better, get yourself a VPN to hide all your traffic from our illiberal, civil rights abusing, moronic government.
I’m happy. Really happy. Which is a stark contrast to 7 months ago.
At the beginning of this month I also stopped taking anti-depressants (don’t worry, doctor-approved).
Those drugs certainly did help, and I was already feeling up to coming off them before the new year, but what I’ve realised I needed most was to help myself out of it.
For two years I was essentially stuck in a relationship that had the love and trust sucked out of it but I was paralysed with fear that if I left I’d have my son taken away from me.
At first my son was taken from me, justifying my fear. Because I’d spent 20 months in a relationship I didn’t want to be in, I no longer had any emotional strength. I couldn’t cope. I recognised I needed help and got that help.
But since my son and I were allowed the time together that we both deserve, and the court battle guaranteed us that time, I’ve finally been able to build on our relationship, and I’m no longer fearful.
Not only that, but the emotional stress that I was putting myself under by staying in that relationship has completely disappeared, and all my emotional strength (of which there’s quite a lot, I’ve realised) are focused on the kids. I’m constantly thinking about what’s coming up with them – looking forward to our family holidays, teaching the little man to ride a bike, teaching the little lady* to roll over, hold things, crawl, walk and all that good fun.
All of that could have happened so much sooner if I’d have helped myself and left that relationship. I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could, because the way things have worked out is great for various reasons, but it’s a good lesson to learn.
No matter how bad things may seem, there is always another option. That’s very, very, very, very hard to see when you’re in the grips of depression but it’s there and reminding oneself about that constantly (especially when well) is important to help keep depression at bay.
One final caveat: my depression has always been fairly mild. I have never had to struggle with it day after day, as some people (including friends) do. I’ve had it relatively easy, all told, and I’m very thankful of that.
* not sure I like the “little lady” nickname really… still deciding…
Our Google, who art in Mountain View,
hallowed be your Matt Cutts.
Your Googleplex come,
your search results be done,
online, as it is in heaven.
Give us this SEO, and deliver our traffic,
and forgive us our keyword spam,
as we forgive those who spam against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from Bing.
For thine is the internets,
and the links, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Today is day 26, which means I’ve had two days of doing nothing (pretty much). Spending the weekend with my little man was far more important, of course.
But in general I’m finding it hard to keep up every single day. My hope was that it’d be fairly straight-forward to do something, at least small, every day but as well as having a life it’s actually quite hard to have something to show everyday.
Most days I’ll be chipping in on the Manifesto, or with Something New discussions, but that’s not very interesting so I try to do something reasonably significant, but it feels more like a chore than I’m actually doing something.
So, from now on #365daysofpolitics isn’t going to be about doing something every single day. It’s going to be about me spending a year dedicating a significant portion of my life to politics, to the Manifesto, to Something New and to trying to use politics to build the progressive world I want to see.
Finally, I think I got the seats data for the 2015 general election sorted out!
I worked on it yesterday so tonight (day 23) I need to test it and make sure it’s validating properly.
Also, I had a chance encounter with a friend and had a chat about this little experiment of mine as well as a bit broadly about the current political climate (sigh).
Yesterday I started to read The Great Divide by Nobel Prize winning economist Joseph Stiglitz.
Years ago on a whim I picked up Globalisation and its Discontents and really enjoyed it, so when I heard about Stiglitz’s new book I quickly grabbed a copy. It’s great timing and I’m really looking forward to making my way through it.
I also did some bits on the Manifesto (as usual) and had a couple of chats about politics with friends (which is unusual for me).